To married couples: did you find that your partner changed much after getting married?

I have heard and read of stories from various sources (friends, family members, articles etc.) about changes in behaviour of married couples. For example complaints about laziness, not being as affectionate, not going out very much etc.





Is this common? In what ways did you or your partner change? If so, why do you think getting married has this effect? By the way, I am pro-marriage. I am young, never been married and find this topic interesting.To married couples: did you find that your partner changed much after getting married?
Our habits and patterns have changed somewhat as a result of 1) moving in together and 2) the passage of time; but I don't think that much of it can be attributed directly to the signing of the marriage license.





We lived together for over a year before getting married, and it was definitely a period of adjustment for both of us; our social and emotional lives now included each other, and it does change your routine compared to when you are single and unattached. But (for us at least) this change was for the better - we are very happy to have each other's companionship.





Also, as time goes by, every individual evolves. Habits may change, hobbies come and go, priorities get adjusted. I think, in a healthy relationship/marriage, people evolve together, and this natural gradual ';drift'; is not a problem. Both my husband and I have abandoned some old hobbies and developed some new interests since we've been together, and it's normal. We support each other in our pursuits, even if we don't always participate ourselves.





I think, another major point of change for any couple is parenthood; kids introduce a whole new dimension into the relationship. I don't have children, so I have no personal experience with this, but it's something I hear over and over from other couples. Again - this change in dynamics is not something bad; it's a natural evolution of the relationship.





This is not to say that things don't change for the worse - they do sometimes. But again, I don't believe it has anything to do with getting legally married - it has more to do with general attitudes, dynamics and circumstances of each particular relationship. Laziness, lack of affection, lack of intimacy can manifest themselves in any relationship, whether married or not - especially as more time passes. Given long enough time, I'm sure every relationship goes through a tough stage. I don't feel that the marriage certificate is the cause of that, but being that in our society most long-term couples are married, we naturally see these fluctuations mostly in married couples.To married couples: did you find that your partner changed much after getting married?
I think it just depends on the person. One thing that changes after marriage is you can no longer just ';break up.'; If you choose to no longer be together you have to divorce and that usually gets pretty messy. So some people might feel more comfortable in their relationship and get lazy or show their ';true'; side. Or others feel the pressure of, wow this is the real deal and make a big deal out of things that never really bothered them before. I have to admit, that I was not in anyway nervous prior to getting married, but after the honeymoon I got a case of, ';am I really married now?'; and it freaked me out a bit. That subsided shortly after and I have never regretted getting married.
Things change after your married due to the following.





1. When your dating the other persons credit, bills, spending is not your problem. When your married it is.





2. Once your married and have a mortgage, kids, work your life style changes and your not spending $150. on dinner like you did when you are single.





3. Some men think the romance is over. After the I Do, they don't. No longer bring flowers, cards, or look to go out on a date just the two of you.





If you know your soon to be spouse well enough and are smart enough to have a conversation on who is going to shop, do bills, clean, etc is it wife, hubby or both. Don't assume that house work is the wife's job and yard work is the hubby's job.
I think any time you are around someone so much, or learn things about them you never knew. No matter what ages we are, we change. Just part of having experiences.


My husband was a lot more calm once we were married. He was more selfish (with his time) when we were first married. He now realizes how that hurt me (he would leave me alone for hours to visit family, when I had no one in a new town).


I changed in a LOT of ways. I learned to stop thinking of only myself. He taught me that even if we don't have a lot, we can still help others. I learned to actually communicate my feelings (we didn't do that well in my family growing up).


Affection changes, dates change, your attitude, the way you think of different situations. But it isn't necessarily bad. In my case, all these changes were definetly for the better.
Here's the deal. I don't think my wife changed, I think she FAKED it while we were dating. Then after marriage she got comfortable with the money and the situation and she stopped faking that she loved me.





When I searched for a wife, I wanted someone that I respected and I liked as a person. I wasn't thinking much about future sex. Well, I got what I looked for, a person who I like and respect and who doesn't think much about sex.





If I were to do it over again, I'd look for a romantic and sexy woman who wanted a lifetime of sex... and I would go find friendship with the guys. You can always get friends elsewhere but you're not supposed to go elsewhere for sex. If you get a dud spouse, you're sunk.
Well, my husband and I lived together for 5 years before we got married. He was the same after we got married as before. I don't think the change in behaviour has much to do with getting married, I think it is to do with getting comfortable in the relationship and maybe a bit lazy. At least that is how it is in our relationship.
I've been married 31 years and we're both still the same as we were 35 years ago when we met. We both still put in a 100% and work together around the house. We raised 8 kids now enjoying the grandchildren.


Nothing has changed with either one of us, I didn't get lazy and neither did my wife. I think a lot of couples change as in growing apart from each other. Their not keeping their love for each going, so it ends up that one does everything and the other just doesn't care and sits back. That's not good you need to keep the fire burning in your relationship.
Having 14 years in the hole, I can tell you that people change, this is a normal part of growing old, and maturing. I certainly know that I am not the same person I was when I was 21, so people change, the important thing is that you change together, expand and open your minds and communicate otherwise one goes forward and the other is left behind. Just my two cents.
My Husband did change...





He became a better Man, a better Dad...





I think the commitment we made made him really settle into his life and enjoy the things that make life worth living.





I suppose I've changed as well... I also feel more settled into my life and happier that he is in my life... and I know it changed our Kiddo's lives in making them feel more secure in the arms of ';Family';
No we are exactly the same as we met except we dont go clubbing really anymore after having our baby. We still have lots of sex, go places, are affectionate and both of us help each other out. We work as a team and we have always been like this.
I feel that we are the same people we just grew stronger. You grow so much together. I feel that we are closer now then before we got married. We did change, but in a good way. We changed in the fact that we are older and more mature in our relationship.
Things didn't change for me and my husband. I think it helps if you both have jobs or hobbies so you get a chance to miss each other and cherish the time you have together. I think it also helps if you live together before getting married so that there are no sudden surprises .
It depends on the person. He and I both did not change after marriage. Some people fake who they are to get a spouse and then after they are married their true colors show. I have been married for almost 16 years and still we have not changed for the worse.
Well it may not because they got married. Once you are married other things come into play like stress from money and kids and other things so it can not be said it is only because they are married. It does happen though but not to everyone. IT has not happened to me and my husband.
It happened in my first marriage (24 yrs), he turned into a stay-at-home bore who never wanted to have fun.





But this time, we were straight with each other, no BS and no games, no pretending to be who we aren't. So we knew EXACTLY who we were marrying. We are very happy, too.
everyone changes in their lifetime, thats what happens when your in time





the thing about marriage is, you love each other, and work to continue loving each other even through the changes
Yes, my husband did change. He turned out to be much more affectionate, and romantic than I had previously thought, and I can't say I'm complaining...
Yes, she and I both changed, we grew and are growing together. Compromise can bring about change in ways that are good for both.
im not married never have been but even in just bf/gf relationships your partner changes during the relationship as you get more comfortable with each other
Yes , people change over time. Cost me 2 divorces. Part of staying together, is being able to change together, over time.
She did a complete 180. She started lying, cheating, and spending a ton of money.
yes i did... sometimes it has to do with life experiences and how you handle them.sometimes partners just grow away from one another
Im not married, but I ALWAYS hear that the males tend to get lazy...
I wouldn't say things change when you get married. You do settle into a comfortableness.





I gained some weight and lost all my girlfriends. My husband has packed on a few too. I think that happened because I am happy and we both like to eat. I lost all my girlfriends because when my husband and I first started dating, I spent all my time with him and ignored my girlfriends. We were in high school. Now if we got a divorce I wouldn't have any friends because they are all my husbands friends first.





We still do the same stuff but now we have even more fun and do cooler things because we have more money. We go out and ride our dirt bikes, our Harley, go to bars and concerts and hang out with friends, and make new ones too.





If you hear folks talking about losing the ';spark'; or putting on a few pounds and that affecting their relationship, they should not have married each other in the first place. Everyone is going to get old and wrinkled. When you marry someone you do it because you want to get wrinkled together, to grow old, to have good times, and bad. That ';spark'; that happens when you first meet someone is very short lived but if you can find someone who can light a torch with that spark you are truly lucky.





Marriage should be committing your life to your best friend. Even best friends change sometimes.
It's funny you should ask! My ex-husband was always lazy and I always did all the house work and worked on top of it while taking care of the kids.....Then I got sick of it and his mother pushing her religion on me day after day! Have you two tried to living together? I would think that would be the best thing to try out first and see how things are from there. Leave dishes in the sink, or your dirty cloths in places they shouldn't be and see if she picks up after you and then complains if your the type of person who is a neat person then you two are a match made in heaven and things will go well otherwise don't get married people don't change for the better they always change for the worse.





Exp. seeing how your not even married yet and your already asking then something is not right...... already.





Hope this helps don't ever doubt your self. It's good to ask but you've got something on your mind that's bothering you about him/ her and it's not right so don't go with what you don't want or question....